Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
