Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
