dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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