Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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