Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
