I hate your face
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
