I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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