If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
