She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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