He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
