I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
