i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
