well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
