found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
