my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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