dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize