yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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