I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
