I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
