Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
