Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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