you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize