I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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