It's just like the Real World with babies
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
