Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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