I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
