He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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