Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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