Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
