You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
