I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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