The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
