You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
