You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
