You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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