If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
