just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
