You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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