So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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