I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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