you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you never un-have a 4some
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
