Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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