I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
