i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
