That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
