school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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