oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
