you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
