Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
