We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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