Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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