Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
