Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
