i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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