You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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