Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
