I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
