So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
