ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
