I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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