sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize