I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
