i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
