she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize