So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
