Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I love you.
Bad choice
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
