No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
