He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
