Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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