he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dear god my vagina.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
