I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
